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Inane Bloggers for Prom Peasantry: Normative Gender Roles for the Royal Court


True Life: I Was A Prom Queen Runner-Up and Lost

There’s so much we could say about this article (patronizing, pronouns, utter confusion), but perhaps the most egregious of all is this: Nicole Fabien-Weber seems to think that her granting - or denying - permission for gay boys (or transgender girls) to be crowned prom queens matters. To which we say: Who cares? We are all for gay boys as prom queens, straight jocks as prom kings, straight jocks as prom queens, gay jocks as prom queens, little highschool butches as prom kings, genderqueer folks as prom kings, femmes as prom kings, butches as prom queens - honestly, pretty much any combination you can come up with - as long as the new royalty is happy with their title. And unlike Fabien-Weber, we don’t expect any high school students to be waiting with bated breath for our blog’s opinion on the matter.

Blogic likely agrees with some fraction of the author’s argument, but there’s so much insanity it’s impossible to make sense of it. (For the record, the concept we agree with is that we should cut prom royalty pageants all together).

*interestingly enough, this blog post came from the same people at “thestir.cafemom.com” who also brought us this worthwhile blog post. They sure do have a thing for royalty and backhanded homophobia.

Filed under gender offensive prom prom king prom queen normative gender roles internet

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Another reason to ditch that long-distance partner, lose contact with your family

The cell phones and cancer story is back, and Blogic is digging out our walkie talkies. In the frighteningly vague, panic-inducing way that science often presents its findings, the article concludes: Dr Jonathan Samet (University of Southern California, USA), overall Chairman of the Working Group, indicated that “the evidence, while still accumulating, is strong enough to support a conclusion and the 2B classification. The conclusion means that there could be some risk, and therefore we need to keep a close watch for a link between cell phones and cancer risk.” But just earlier in the article, we read “one study of past cell phone use (up to the year 2004), showed a 40% increased risk for gliomas in the highest category of heavy users (reported average: 30 minutes per day over a 10‐year period).”

According to the WHO list, however, risk takers should consider careers in firefighting, dry cleaning, or welding — or, just sit around drinking coffee and talking on your cell phone.

Filed under Science Daily brains cancer cell phones science technology

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4 signs you SHOULDN’T practice therapy

Jane Greer, PhD’s recent post “5 signs he DOESN’T love you" doesn’t reveal much about relationships, but it does indicate a few "red flags" in her abilities as a therapist:

1. INCESSANT USE OF CAPS LOCK

2. Dr. Greer’s advice seems to be primarily derived from decades-old song lyrics, like “If he says ‘I only want to be with you,’ pay attention,” “He makes AND breaks promises" and "He always talks about the future, but the future never comes" or (blogic fave) "He says, ‘I want you to have my baby.’”

3. Her past work includes "The Afterlife Connection: A Therapist Reveals How To Communicate With Departed Loved Ones"

4. Her advice sounds like it was culled from a 7th grade birthday-sleepover-party: “if you’re kissing and he’s kissing you back but you find his eyes are open and he’s looking around, you should know that’s a sign to consider.”

*Galtime.com, we know we’ve been harsh (see here). Thanks for keeping the welschmertz at bay, though!

Filed under relationships advice to a friend women galtime.com therapy

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A great way to get rid of all your extra boats

On a recent excursion in the real world (outside the domain of the interwebs!), blogic discovered this incredibly perplexing advertisement. So perplexing, in fact, that we thought it was worth sharing for several reasons:

The model in the photo bears a striking resemblance to That Girl That You Went To High School With - the one who you’re friends with on facebook and who causes you to say what is your life? to your computer screenas you click through endless photos of her doing increasingly inane activities in what appears to be an unlimited supply of Summer Dresses That Seem Cute But Somehow Look Skanky On Her or something.

Who are these people? Donate a boat or car to Boat Angel by calling 1-800-car-angel or visiting www.boatangel.com. What is their real name? Also, that’s not how you write the letter “T.” We see what they’re trying to do, but instead of witty, it just reads as though it says “Boa Angel.” Can snakes be angels? (Apparently, yes.)

What could possibly explain the decision to put the instruction Call us! into quotation marks? Is it their slogan? Did they think that “Call us!” would make it seem like That Girl was really talking to you from the wall?

This advertisement was found in a public transit station. How many transit riders have spare boats and cars laying around? If they did, then wouldn’t they be boating or driving to work?

What do they do with people’s old boats? Back in our natural habitat, internet research revealed that Boat Angel, while more than willing to take your extra vehicles off your hands and show you videos about child kidnapping or the hazards of hard drug use, is reluctant to give out any details of their operation (except, of course, to your most pressing questions as featured in their FAQ, like “What about the INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE what is their view?”).

Filed under advertisement boat angel capslock

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The author of this article has us worried

We know you know what we’re talking about.

A blogger at “thestir.cafemom.com” offers a revolutionary (heh) perspective on the Royal Wedding in her post, “Kate and William’s Kiss Has Me Worried.” While we’re sure that Kate and William appreciate the author’s concern, we’re not so sure that articles like this are the best use of the author’s time (Lindsay Ferrier is a busy lady).

Maybe Dr. Lillian Glass can help Lindsay get to the bottom of this mystery.

Filed under KISS HER LIKE YOU MEAN IT kate middleton prince william royal wedding sexuality capslock

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He said/She said: “What a moronic article”

While the interwebs and cell phones have prevented many a communication disaster, technology brings its challenges. Thank goodness that GalTime.com (yup, actual name) has brought us “He Said/She said: Decoding the text message" to help navigate the rocky waters of SMS:

Text: I wish you were here

GIRL INTERPRETATION:  “He really likes me! Awww and he misses me!! So cute!”
BLOGIC INTERPRETATION: We don’t have high hopes for this relationship. For one thing, Unidentified Text Messenger is so cool that he only speaks in Pink Floyd album titles, while Girl has rewatched Sally Field’s Oscar win too many times 

Text: Are you going out tonight/ What are you doing later?

GIRL INTERPRETATION: “He wants to hang out with me! He can’t stop thinking about me!”
BLOGIC INTERPRETATION
: At last, someone is telling the truth about how girls only think in exclamation points! Or, on special occasions, hybrid question marks/exclamation points?!
BONUS: “Ensley,” commentator, offers this helpful text interpretation: “Maybe I can get this one in the bag before I have to buy her too many drinks.”

Text: Can we reschedule for another night? I am not feeling well.

GIRL INTERPRETATION: Poor little boo boo! He needs me to bring him chicken soup and some lotion-infused Kleenex!
BLOGIC INTERPRETATION: Girl’s following thought: “Too bad I can’t bring him any of those things. I’m too young to drive.”

Text: I’ll text you later.

GIRL INTERPRETATION: He must be really busy right now. He has such a stressful job! Why can’t his boss give him a break?!
BLOGIC INTERPRETATION: What? No texting at work?!? This Girl seems fundamentally confused about the real-world demands of a job - but that’s probably because her full time job is providing in-depth relationship analysis in 140 character increments.

Blogic is all about making communication easier (if, at the very least, to avoid these situations), but Galtime’s “advice” is does more to perpetuate absurd gender stereotypes than provide any real technological insights. Besides, trying (and failing) to provide insight into relationships via canned stereotypes is so 90s.

Filed under gender internet offensive sexism technology women text messages

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Big Potato funds study; finds potatoes are delicious, nutritious

Blogically Speaking is proud to bring you a guest post from our resident nutrition expert, PG. We are excited to highlight a new voice (although she’s been quoted in some of our earlier inquiry into Big Potato’s tactics).

“The time has come to stand up for potatoes.”

So reads the rallying cry issued by the potato industry last week. This amped-up effort to defend “America’ s favorite vegetable” comes on the heels of the USDA’s proposal to limit school children to one cup of starchy vegetables a week.

The potato industry has been waving around research to back up its argument. The ultimate conclusion of the study  most frequently cited?  “Potatoes belong within the diet.” While these results seem to provide a legitimate, scientific argument in Big Potato’s favor, a closer look reveals that this study was funded by none other than the United States Potato Board itself.  

It should surprise no one that a study about potatoes, by potatoes - and released at a time when potatoes are being scrutinized in cafeterias across the country - would end up ruling in favor of spuds. In fact, one research study looked at this very phenomenon of nutrition-related scientific studies funded by the food industry and came to this same unsurprising (but nonetheless unsettling) conclusion: “Industry funding of nutrition-related scientific articles may bias conclusions in favor of sponsors’ products, with potentially significant implications for public health.”

Potatoes are, to be fair, a perfectly satisfying and nutritious food in their own right. But no matter how nutritious a vegetable in its unadulterated state might be, those benefits are all but negated when it’s sliced into slivers, plunged into a piping hot vat of oil, sprinkled with salt, and emerges as greasy, fatty, calorically dense sticks. (Which is how potatoes are most frequently consumed. Particularly among children.) In fact, while the potato industry is largely taking credit for the increase in kids’ consumption of vegetables, they fail to mention that French Fries account for about one-quarter of children’s vegetable intake. The potato industry’s romanticized campaign, highlighting the many health benefits of this vegetable, doesn’t quite reflect reality.

As you come across statements singing the praises of this “gateway vegetable,” be sure to take them with a grain of salt. The food industry has been, and always will be, motivated by increasing profits, not advancing health. Don’t let the marketing campaigns convince you otherwise.

PG lives in San Francisco and enjoys all things food related - particularly eating. She can frequently be found watching bad reality television, having 90s music sing-a-longs, and avoiding eye contact with people on BART.

Filed under USDA big potato gateway vegetable potatoes science guestpost